The Haywire Love Potion
by coffee-stained lips
Summary: Simon has a crush on Jeanette but is too afraid to tell her. In an attempt to help his brother, Alvin uses Simon's love potion. But it ends up in the wrong person's hands which causes a series of unexpected events to happen. Love's a fickle thing.
1. The Truth Comes Out

Simon, Alvin, and Theodore Seville were eating lunch together as usual. Theodore was digging his spoon heartily into his applesauce, Alvin was attempting to shoot his peas across the cafeteria with his spoon, and Simon was reading his book while eating. "Alvin, will you stop that?!" Simon yelled as one of Alvin's peas hit him in the forehead.

"Hey, it's the Chipettes!" Theodore said, pointing to three girls walking their way. Brittney, Jeanette, and Eleanor were the boys' closet friends, apart from each other. Alvin waved to them and signaled them to sit. Eleanor sat beside Theodore, Brittney beside Alvin, and Jeanette beside Simon. He blushed furiously.

"Hi, Simon." Jeanette said, pulling the book away from him, which he had pushed so close to his face his glasses were smashed against his eyeballs.

"H-he-hello," he said nervously, "Er, I'm gonna go get some, uh, ketchup." He quickly grabbed his tray and sped off to the condiments table. Everyone stared at each other very confused, for Simon didn't have any French fries.

"I think I'll go talk to him." Jeanette said. She picked up her tray, got up, and left after Simon. As he saw her approach his face got even redder. She came up next to him and started putting mustard on her hot dog. He held the ketchup bottle very tightly.

"Um, Simon?" she asked.

"Y-yeah?" he answered shakily.

"Why are you putting ketchup on your pizza?"

He looked down and saw the red sauce all over his cheese pizza slice. Embarrassed, he started to quickly walk away but ended up bumping into Jeanette and making her squirt mustard on her shirt.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" he said, even more embarrassed. He grabbed a wad of napkins and tried to wipe it away.

"It's okay, really, Simon!" Jeanette said. She attempted to push him away. As she put her hands out she squeezed the mustard very forcefully. It sprayed all over Simon's glasses. He backed up and fell over another table. He let out a painful groan.

Later that day Simon was at the nurse getting his back checked. "How is he?" Jeanette asked Alvin, who had just talked to Simon after he came out.

"Just dirty glasses." Alvin joked, and Jeanette left for class.

"What was the matter with Simon?" Brittney asked as she, Alvin, Eleanor, and Theodore walked to class too.

"I think the nurse might've not noticed how sick Simon really is." Alvin replied.

"What?!" Theodore gasped worriedly.

"It's okay, Theo." the red-clad chipmunk reassured, "I'm thinking our ol' pal Simon has a case of lovesickness."


	2. The Love Potion

**In this chapter it is mostly dialogue and is fairly short, but it is a _very _important turning point in the story, so don't skip ahead!**

That evening Alvin found Simon working in his basement lab. He looked tired and worn-down. In front of him was at least a dozen beakers filled to the brim with bubbling juice of assorted colors.

"Yo, Simon." Alvin said and Simon jumped with surprise.

"Oh, hi, Alvin," he replied sleepily.

"What're you doing?" Alvin asked as he walked down the steps. Simon sighed heavily and answered, "I'm creating a Bravery Potion." He poured some blue juice into a round beaker. It turned a sickly snot-green. He walked over to a cupboard and placed it on the top shelf.

"I suppose you're wondering why." he said, though Alvin was really sure he knew already.

"Well, I'm trying to get up the nerve to admit to Jeanette that I-" He gulped. "That I like her (Alvin tried his best to look surprised). But I don't think even a Bravery Potion would help. It would just rush rejection."

"How d'you know she'll reject you?" Alvin said, putting a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Well…_look_ at me!" Simon shouted.

"Ah, c'mon, Simon you…" Alvin began, but stopped as he looked over his brother, "have a very good personality?"

"Nice try." Simon said sulkily and left for the door.

"How 'bout a _Love _Potion?" Alvin called after him slyly.

"I have one," the blue-clad chipmunk responded, "but that would make her love artificial. I don't want that." Alvin stared after his brother until he had departed. Then, with a devious gleam in his eye, he ran over to the cupboard. He ran his finger along the air, indicating the different vials of potions. After a few seconds, his blue eyes caught sight of a vial filled with hot pink juice. He grabbed it merrily. The piece of paper that had been taped on it read love in capital black letters. He rolled it mischievously around in his hands.

"She won't know that." he said aloud to himself, "And neither will you."

**AAAAAALLLLLLVVVVVIIIIINNNNN!!!!!! He's up to his regular antics again! What'll I do with him?! That's what _you'll _find out soon enough! Mwahaha!**


	3. Don't Cry Over Spilled Potion

**Here it comes, the moment of truth! How will Alvin mess up and stress out Simon? Hey, I ain't telling! Find out for yourself!**

Alvin had a spring in his step as he and his brothers went inside the ice cream parlor where they were to (unbeknownst to Simon) meet the Chipettes. The _ding-a-ling _of the bell as they entered caused the girls' heads to turn. Brittney waved at them, and Simon immediately turned pink.

"Alvin!" he whispered frantically, "You didn't tell me we were meeting them!"

"Oops!" Alvin said innocently, "Must have slipped my mind!" They walked over to the girls. Simon was trying to hide behind Alvin, but that was hard considering Simon was taller. The three chipmunks sat in the booth, each next to their female counterpart again. After a few minutes, when their sundaes arrived, Alvin said he needed to go to the bathroom. He grabbed his unsuspecting brother's hand and tugged him out of sight.

"Hey! What was that for?" Simon asked angrily, though he looked very relieved to be away from Jeanette. Alvin flashed Simon a sly smile. He lifted his red baseball cap to reveal a vial filled with hot pink potion. Simon stared blankly as Alvin took the vial in hand and placed his hat back on his head.

"I wasn't going to tell you," Alvin began, twirling the vial around like it was nothing, "but you have a right." He turned to look back at the booth where their friends were sitting. Then he turned back to his brother, the devious grin even wider.

"I'm about to grant your biggest wish." he said. Then he popped the cork off the vial as gleefully as if he were popping champagne at a wedding.

"That potion's useless if you don't have the right ingredient!" Simon said, sounding happier for having known this. Alvin just continued smiling, and plucked a hair off Simon's head.

"I think I do." Alvin replied, dropping the hair into the potion (it turned blue instantly), "You know, you should really keep those instruction files _in _your desk." He spun on his heel and commenced walking towards the booth.

Panic-stricken, Simon tackled his brother. Shocked, Alvin loosened his grip on the vial to help catch himself before plummeting. As he hit the ground, it flew out of his hand. It swirled in the air. The two chipmunks watched helplessly as it shot straight down and splashed…

Into Eleanor's water glass.

She shrieked, wiping the water off her face. "What was that?!" her sisters yelled. They saw her inspect the glass cautiously. She picked it up and sniffed it. Then, to their horror, she took a sip.

"Yuck!" she exclaimed, rubbing her hands on her tongue in a fretful attempt to wash the taste away, "That's disgusting!"

"Don't worry." Simon said, though he looked worried, "She only took a sip, and she didn't even like it. Chances are, one sip won't-" But he was interrupted by a perky voice. "Oh hi, Simon!" it said. Followed by it was a fit of giggles. It came nearer until it was right above them. "What're you doing on Alvin, Simon?" it asked, giggling. Terrified, the two chipmunks looked up.

It was Eleanor.

"Fast-acting, ain't it?" Alvin whispered jokingly, but Simon just shot him a look of fury.

"C'mon!" Eleanor said, hoisting Simon up. She interlocked their arms. "Sit next to me this time, okay?" she asked. She tugged him away to the booth and pushed Theodore aside as she pulled Simon in next to her. Alvin came slowly towards them and slid in next to Brittney. Eleanor was chuckling at Simon. Theodore looked surprised, and Jeanette looked positively glum. Brittney shot Alvin a look that said, "What the heck is going on here?!"

"Tell you later," he mouthed. And so they all sat there, Eleanor's giggling voice the only one heard.

**I bet the majority of you reading this thought _Brittney _would get the potion, didn't you? That's exactly why I didn't give it to her. Too predictable. _Anyway_, what'll Simon do when sweet little Eleanor falls head over heels for him?! I'm thinking that one out for myself...**


	4. Jeanette's OK

**Again we have dialogue as the majority of a short chapter. Whatever, right?**

The days after that were exactly the same. Eleanor followed Simon like a lovesick puppy. She giggled at everything he said, even if it wasn't funny. She insisted on sitting next to him at lunch. She took any chance she could to look helpless, which sucked Simon into helping her.

"I can't believe it!" Brittney said as Simon helped Eleanor with her locker for the fourth time that day, "Little Eleanor in love with…_Simon_!"

"It's a love potion." Alvin explained to her, "I wanted him to use it on Jeanette but he said no. When I tried, he tackled me and the potion flew into the air and landed in Eleanor's water glass-"

"_That's _what that junk was?!" Brittney asked.

"Yeah, so, _anyway_," he continued, "now Eleanor's in love with him. And Jeanette _still_doesn't know." The two walked to their Science glass. The teacher told them to pick partners for the day's project. Eleanor was about to run towards the back of the room to Simon, but Brittney pushed Jeanette next to him first. Disappointed, the blonde Chipette sat at a table next to Theodore. Alvin flashed Brittney a "Good thinking" smile. She just waved her hand in a no-biggie fashion.

"Okay, class," the teacher said, "I want you to inspect the slides on your microscope and write out notes describing them. Begin." Jeanette put the first slide in and adjusted the microscope for herself. Simon took his turn while she wrote her description.

"So, it seems Eleanor kind of…likes you." Jeanette said. Simon felt the heat rise to his cheeks.

"Y-yeah, I g-g-guess so." he answered. He grabbed his pen and wrote unsteadily.

"She talks an awful lot about you." Jeanette continued.

"Oh…yeah?"

"Yeah, she thinks you're really nice and stuff." There was a small silence as she changed another slide.

"So, you're probably going to ask her to the dance, right?" she asked. Startled, Simon poked a hole through the paper.

"Well, um…" he said, wiping the sweat off his forehead, "Uh, you see, er…"

"Simon, it's okay." Jeanette reassured, "It is a little weird for friends to date their friends' siblings, but I'm okay with it."

"Oh." he said, disappointed. The class went on in silence. At the end, Eleanor tugged Simon to her microscope.

"Look at this, Simon!" she said, practically shoving his face on the microscope, "It's frog's blood. Isn't it cool how their blood cells are a blackish-brown?"

"Fat lot she knows," Theodore muttered irritably as he walked out into the hall with Brittney and Alvin, "Those are my brownie bits."

**Uh-oh, looks like li'l Theo has been bitten by the green-eyed monster! And now Jeanette seems to be pulling away from Simon! Ay yi yi! Just wait a little while, the next installment's coming up!**


	5. The Dates and the Plan

Over the week Theodore's mood seemed to change. He no longer acted like the sweet, adorable chipmunk he had always been. Instead he was irritable and cranky to everyone no matter what. He also refused to eat much.

"It's Eleanor," Brittney said when Alvin called her.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." he replied crossly.

"Well!" Brittney shouted and he heard the click that meant she had hung up on him. She and Theodore weren't the only ones in bad moods. Jeanette always walked around in a blue funk. Whenever she got within five feet of Simon, she would spin around and walk away. Brittney had mentioned she had cried at least twice since the ice cream parlor incident.

Simon was the worst of the lot. Whenever Alvin tried to talk to him, he'd leave the room. On a few occasions, he actually threw stuffed animals at his brother. Alvin would hear if mumbling in his sleep at night. Things like "No, Alvin!", "I'll get you, Alvin!", and "You'll be sorry, Alvin!" The only one happy was Eleanor. She skipped around the halls at school and wrote Simon's name with hearts encircling it on her notebooks.

It turned out Simon had gotten roped into going to the dance with Eleanor just like he had been roped into unlocking her locker and carrying her books. Jeanette had told Eleanor it was okay to date Simon and the little Chipette took that to mean Simon wanted to date her. So Simon ended up being Eleanor's reluctant date.

Alvin was packing up his things to leave when Jeanette came up to him. "Hi, Alvin." she said timidly.

"What up?" Alvin responded, lifting his books up.

"Well, I just wanted to, uh…" she began.

"Yeah?" Alvin urged her.

"Will you…be my date for the dance?" she asked quickly. Alvin stared openmouthed at her. As if this situation couldn't get worse! He was about to tell her no, when a light bulb went off in his brain.

"Er…okay, Jeanette." he answered, grinning, "I'll go with you. 'Bye." He left the classroom feeling immensely proud of the plan he was about to play out.

* * *

"What?!" Brittney shouted when Alvin told her the news, "So you decided to move in on Jeanette when Simon was busy with Eleanor, eh?"

"What? No!" Alvin yelled worriedly.

"Ha! You _purposely _gave Ellie that potion so you could get Jeanette! Well, thanks a lot for telling me, buster!" Again, he heard her slam the phone down. He sighed. Well, it would all work out at the dance.

He rushed down to Simon's lab. There his stressed-out brother was asleep, his head lolling limp around his neck. He shook his brother so hard his spectacles fell off. "Simon! I got a plan to help you!" he said.

"Oh yeah?" Simon said irritably as he searched the floor for his glasses, "Will it _help _me like your last one?"

"Yes!" Alvin stated proudly, then changed his mind, "I mean no! Uh…"

"Look," Simon said, putting his blue-rimmed glasses back on, "There's nothing you can do. I've tried for hours to come up with an antidote to that stupid potion. All I've done is create one that causes acne."

"Simon, Jeanette's gonna be my date for the dance-" Alvin began.

"What?!" Simon interrupted just like Brittney, "Alvin, this is a new low!"

"Hold it!" Alvin yelled, clamping a hand over Simon's mouth, "It's to make sure she goes to the dance!"

"Why would that matter?"

"Here's why-" Alvin began, and he whispered it to him.

"Are you sure about this?" Simon asked his brother.

"Positive."


	6. Simon's Got His Own Plan

**Here it is! The end! Now, don't cry, there'll be more soon enough!**

The days rushed past until the dance night was upon them. Alvin realized Theodore would be having Brittney as a date. "This is just getting weirder." Alvin said to Simon as they walked to the school.

"Let's hope your plan will fix it." Simon replied. Alvin gave him a look that said "Duh!" When they walked into the gym each chipmunk split up to find their dates. Eleanor immediately locked arms with Simon, Jeanette shyly told Alvin hello, and Brittney and Theodore went out to the dance floor straight away.

After a few minutes, Alvin gave Simon the signal (a peace sign with their fingers) to show it was time for action. Simon returned the sign to show he was ready.

"I'm going to go get some punch." Alvin told Jeanette. He strode off to the punch table and poured some into a cup. Winking at Simon, he walked over to Jeanette.

"Oh my goodness!" Alvin exclaimed, "I think I am slipping!" He tossed the cup at Jeanette and it splashed all over her face.

"I'll help!" Simon said and he rushed over to grab some napkins. As he ran to Jeanette he slipped on the spilled punch. He yelled as he flipped over and landed in the sticky juice. The napkins fluttered down to him like snowflakes.

"Are you okay?!" Eleanor asked frantically, running over to Simon. Then as the songs changed she seemed to forget about Simon's mishap. She pulled him to his feet and took him out to dance.

He looked over towards Jeanette and saw Alvin wiping the punch off her face. He sighed and pushed away from Eleanor.

"What is it, Simon?" she asked anxiously.

"I can't do this." he answered. Then he walked over to the DJ. Alvin ran to catch up with him.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"It's time for Plan B." Simon said simply.

"Oh yeah! Good idea! Plan B!" Alvin said, but then stopped walking, "What's Plan B?"

Simon moved over to the DJ. He whispered, "Track Five, please. But just one second." The DJ nodded and handed Simon a microphone. The previous song stopped and everyone turned to Simon.

"Um…" he began nervously, but when he looked to find Jeanette watching, he felt a surge of courage, "For the past week, I've been living a lie. And so have my friends. None of it would've happened if I had just spoke my feelings. Well, I'm gonna do that now. Jeanette Miller…" He looked straight into Jeanette's stunning green eyes.

"I've kept how I really feel about you a secret. Right now, I'm changing that." He gave the DJ an expectant look. He nodded, and pressed a couple buttons. Music filled the gymnasium. Simon took a big breath. _This is it, _he told himself, _No backing down_.

_There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl._

_How many I told you's  
And start overs and shoulders  
Have you cried on before?  
How many promises? Be honest girl.  
How many tears you let hit the floor?  
How many bags you'd packed  
Just to take'em back? Tell me that  
How many either or's.  
But no more,  
If you let me inside of your world,  
There'll be one less lonely girl._

_Oh oh.  
I saw so many pretty faces  
Before I saw you, you.  
Now all I see is you.  
I'm coming for you.  
No! No,  
Don't need these other pretty faces  
Like I need you.  
And when you're mine in the world,_

_There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
I'm gonna put you first.  
I'll show you what you're worth.  
If you let me inside your world,  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl._

Christmas wasn't merry, 14th of February  
Not one of 'em spent with you.  
How many dinner dates, set dinner plates  
And he didn't even touch his food?  
How many torn photographs I saw you taping back?  
Tell me that you couldn't see an open door.  
But no more,  
If you let me inside of your world,  
There'll be one less lonely girl.

___Oh oh.  
I saw so many pretty faces  
Before I saw you, you.  
Now all I see is you.  
I'm coming for you.  
No! No,  
Don't need these other pretty faces  
Like I need you.  
And when you're mine in the world,_

_____There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
I'm gonna put you first.  
I'll show you what you're worth.  
If you let me inside your world,  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl._

_____I can fix up your broken heart.  
I can give you a brand new start.  
I can make you believe.  
I just wanna set one girl free to fall (free to fall).  
She's free to fall (fall in love)  
With me.  
My hearts locked and nowhere that I got the key.  
I'll take her and leave the world,  
With one less lonely girl__  
_

There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.

One less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
I'm gonna put you first.  
I'll show you what you're worth.  
If you let me inside your world.

There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
One less lonely girl.  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl.  
I'm gonna put you first.  
I'll show you what you're worth.  
If you let me inside your world.  
There's gonna be one less lonely girl.

Everyone applauded. Jeanette smiled bashfully. Simon smiled back. He gave the microphone to the DJ and ran over to her.

"That was so sweet, Simon." she said, and hugged him. They heard another song come on.

"Wanna dance?" Simon asked. Jeanette nodded vigorously. As they walked onto the dance floor, Simon caught sight of Alvin and Brittney.

"You did it, Si." Alvin congratulated.

"Yeah." Simon said, "Wait, if you're dancing with Brittney, what about…" But Theodore and Eleanor drifted by them, dancing blissfully.

"But…" Simon began.

"Maybe saying you were in love with Jeanette snapped somewhere in Eleanor's brain," Brittney said, getting into the conversation, "and now she's normal."

"Like an antidote?" Jeanette offered, also joining in.

"Gotta remember that." Simon chuckled. Then they danced without a care in the world.

**Everyone's happy now. Isn't love grand? Well, this is over now. The song is property of Justin Bieber! I own nothing! Please review this story! And be sure to check out my other stories and review _them_. Til next time!**


End file.
